Posted on Monday, June 7, 2021

Want to build more resilience?

Stay agile with these 6 practical habits

One opportunity the COVID-19 pandemic has granted me is a heightened urgency to for deep reflection. I deliberately find time and space to introspect on life and work in a more meaningful manner.

Out of this introspection, the word ‘resilience’ has consistently popped up. I took this as a sign to codify how my resilience look like for me. Resilience is a measure of how much I want something and how much I am willing, and able, to overcome obstacles to get to it.

Psychology Today describes it this way: “Resilience is that ineffable quality that allows some people to be knocked down by life and come back stronger than ever. Rather than letting failure overcome them and drain their resolve, they find a way to rise from the ashes.”

Posted on Saturday, October 20, 2018

Let’s Talk #MentalHealth

Why would anyone in their right mind hurl themselves off a 17th Floor window?

His career path seemed promising, at least for those of us on the outside. His employer is a brand of global repute. I wonder what flashed through his mind as he hurtled to his death on a concrete ledge. Were there any regrets? A witness to this tragedy talked about hearing the man scream on his way down.

I can’t seem to shake this event off my mind. And as I think about it, a very scary scenario comes to play. What if this man is a representation of many of us? An example of me? What if I am just a trigger-pull away from similar catastrophe?

Posted on Friday, November 24, 2017

Leadership Not A One Day Event!

Growing up, my family knew more lean times than days of plenty. Sometimes there would be so little to go around that I would go without lunch at school. Now, let me clarify that there are people who have been in more dire situations than I was.

But back then I would watch my classmates munching away at hot dogs, sandwiches and cake while I consumed copious amounts of air-burgers. This was tough to deal with, both mentally and emotionally.

I did not want to bother my poor mother. She cared (and still cares) very much about all her children. Voicing my thoughts about the food would only spike her blood pressure off the chart. So instead of bothering her, I chose a very interesting method to block out the torment I was going through: books became my solace.

Posted on Wednesday, July 9, 2014

When Forgiveness Begets Leadership

The year I turned seven, my father, a government employee, was relocated to another town.

Myself, my mother and my siblings couldn’t move with him and stayed back home. I thought it was because we were already settled into our own simple house and in local schools. As kids, we weren’t prepared for this major upheaval in our family. My hero had been torn away from me.

The next thirty years were spent hating, regretting; living in fear instead of to my full potential. I couldn’t stand the thought of ending up the disappointment I perceived my father to be. But that was exactly where I saw myself heading.

I had dreams, aspirations and a bubbling heart, but somewhere along the way it had become a struggle to even think of waking up each day, let alone getting out of bed.

For many years, I harbored a longing to serve people in a significant way, yet I was doing nothing to fulfill that desire. I was too paralyzed by my fear of inadequacy.

Then I chose forgiveness… [TweetMe]

Read the full article on The Gift of Writing.

Question: Are you struggling to find your full potential as a leader, father or mother? I hope my story will inspire you to take the critical steps to be the leader you were meant to be. Down But Not Out is available at your favorite online bookstore, or a bookshop near you.

 photo credit: symphony of love via photopin cc

Posted on Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mothers are Leader Number 1

What does your mother mean to you?

This morning, I thought of a special type of leader. They go about their day with diligence and sometimes unnoticed. They lead from the heart, are uncompromising and loving.

Mothers are leaders beyond belief [TweetMe]. They don’t just bring us into the world, they are there when we scraped our knees, calmed us when ‘monsters’ attacked us at night, and saved the day when our stomachs threatened to ‘kill’ us. Mothers are PRESENT as they are a GIFT.

Today, I want to honor two special mothers in my life. Her Greatness Mum (my mother) and Her Highness Harriette (my best friend and the mother to our children). You are great leaders that evoke emotions and memories in us that are out of this world [TweetMe].

From our mothers, we have come to appreciate many lessons to last us a long time to come. And as someone once said, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. So here goes…

Marmalade – Delectable, carefully prepared, and enjoyable. You care…

Oatmeal – Filled with wholesome goodness. A healthy body, mind and home…

Tortilla – Our tastebuds do a crazy dance. We’re in colourful warmth…

Honey – Your sweetness is unmatched. We treasure your love for us…

Eggs – A comfort for all times, good or bad. We love your magical presence…

Ribs – Sticky and finger-licking good! You’re consistent even when we yo-yo…

Take the time to thank your mother. As you do so, I urge you to ponder on the following. What will it take for you to show more care, be wholesome in your approach, warm when engaging others, love more, be present for your people, and finally, consistent in your leadership.

To all mothers out there, we love you more than anything else in the whole wide world… Happy Mother’s Day! [TweetMe]

[photo credit: Carolyn_Sewell via photopin cc]

Posted on Saturday, March 15, 2014

Take Your Stand!

Living my values

On 19th September 2005, I jumped on a train that was to take me through an amazing journey. I was provided with the opportunity to work at building a brand and to lead a cause.

I’d been married to my awesome wife for just a year and a half. And our first child was on the way. Actually, she was born just four days into this new journey.

This was the first time I had gotten a job after an extensive interview. All other positions I had held before transitioned into each other. I was hired because someone had interacted with me and loved my ability. This job, however, was different. I went through a rigorous interview. When I started work, I dug into it with gusto! It combined two of my passions. What a blessing to do work that you love!

Posted on Monday, February 3, 2014

A Leader’s Legacy

“With great sadness in my heart I must tell you that…” was the opening of an email message I received last evening informing me of the closing of another life. I was shocked, confused and all that my quivering lips could utter was a pained “No!” It was a legacy refined, one that began in life and shall forever be immortalized.

I still remember these words that I wrote to Anna back in December 2011. “You are what I call the Swedish Iron Lady. Your attention to detail is unrivaled! I always knew that you would spot any full stop I omitted in my work. You provided an opportunity for me to prove my worth. You mentored me, trained me, and above all believed that I could become a better communication specialist. In you, a platform existed from which I could launch myself into the future. Thank you Anna for giving me the opportunity.”

She had a beautiful smile that let me know all things would work out even in the most bleak of situations. She was gentle as she was tough is her expectations of me. Resilience was her hallmark and she would not stop until she was sure that I was close to my potential. Her inspiration allowed me to bridge the gap and reach out to that potential.

As I went through all these emotions, it dawned on me what a great leader she was to me. To date, every work I do has her imprint on it. I can’t stand bad writing. My temples pulsate every time I receive a poorly punctuated email message. I think structure any time I hear ‘content’.

Anna leaves behind a few lessons for all of us aspiring to be better leaders.

Smile often: It communicates warmth and the humanity in you [TweetMe]. It is amazing the effect a smile has on someone else. It breaks down barriers and helps unlock the magical door into their hearts. A smile shows a healthy dose of optimism that all will be well, regardless.

“We become what we think about most of the time, and that’s the strangest secret.” ~Earl Nightingale.

Gentle is okay: Leaders do not have to lead by fear [TweetMe]. Temper your firmness with love. You are leading people, not robots. In your toughness, your followers need to remember that you have their best interests at heart. It helps to build trust between you and your followers. That will always win the day.

“The glue that holds all relationships together – including the relationship between; the leader and the led is trust, and trust is based on integrity.” ~ Brian Tracy

Inspiration is possible: I don’t need to be a great orator to inspire others towards their potential [TweetMe]. All I need to do is to figure out their potential and partner with them to realize their innate ability. Once we are both on the same page, difficult situations become learning opportunities.

“A man can be as great as he wants to be. If you believe in yourself and have the courage, the determination, the dedication, the competitive drive and if you are willing to sacrifice the little things in life and pay for the price the things that are worthwhile, it can be done.” ~ Vince Lombardi.

Seize the moment: The last time Anna was in Kenya, she invited us to join her and her daughter on a holiday. It was an impromptu proposition. My silly excuse was that we could not afford the trip. I have learned a heavy lesson, and I will now invest more in meaningful relationships. That is what legacies are made of [TweetMe].

Anna, you lead, cared and built. You are gone in body but your legacy lives on in many of us. Your legacy is built not on what you are, but who you are, and the hearts you touched.

Are you reaching out to people’s hearts?

 photo credit: Paul Mundy

Posted on Saturday, January 4, 2014

Never Failed? Hardly Lived!

There are many times that I have grumbled about how tough an upbringing I had. There were periods when I would consume copious amounts of air-burgers at school. The most trying moments were not the hunger pangs, but watching some of my classmates dig into their samosas and other Indian delights. As the delicious smells wafted over and were entrapped in my nostrils, I vowed that one day I would gift my taste buds with similar delights.

Around the same time, I vividly remember one English writing assignment when I was 11 years old. Coincidentally, the assignment came in after I had read an adventure novel. Boy didn’t I enjoy that assignment. I created my own world of make-belief and turned in a masterpiece. When my English teacher handed my assignment back to me, it had a big zero in crimson red. I was shocked! His verdict was that I must have copied my work from some existing text. I was broken.

What prompted my recollection of this event? It was a comment that Jeffrey Heinichen left on Initium Novum (A New Beginning): “Not only are you Authentic, you are an incredibly good writer and I have much to learn from you,” he wrote. How I would love to trace my former English teacher now. Not only can I write, but now I am an author and run a blog to boot!

Lucille Ball was one of the most influential and successful actresses of her time. Yet she had been previously dismissed from New York City’s John Murray Anderson-Robert Milton Dramatic School apparently for lack of talent. She did not give up and tried modeling when she was hired as a showroom model. It was during this time that she was discovered for adverts and film.

In 1961, Decca Studios turned down the Beatles as guitar music was thought to be on the way out. This is after they had churned out fifteen tracks in a few hours on the eve of ’61! The Beatles went on to become one of the most arguably successful artists of all time.

Who was fired from a newspaper because he lacked imagination and had no original ideas? The legendary Walt Disney was involved in a number of start-ups and jobs before a borrowed camera helped him launch his real passion, animation. Walt Disney now has two stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, not to mention a global empire under his name.

What can leaders learn from these events?

Fail forwards: Do not allow failure to stunt your growth [TweetMe]. Embrace that failure and allow it to become your treasure-trove of lessons. Your growth plan must incorporate time to reflect and learn from the past.

“Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got up again.” ~Nelson Mandela.

Overcome fear: Get others involved in your growth [TweetMe]. Surround yourself with people who inspire you to greatness, are candid enough to let you know when you are on the wrong path (with love), and give back to community. I wouldn’t have added quality to my book if I had not reached out, became vulnerable to others who in turn hold me accountable. People appreciate you when you involve them.

“We must have courage to bet on our ideas, to take the calculated risk, and to act.” ~M. Maltz

Be accountable: Deliver what you said you would do [TweetMe]. Another way of being accountable with your followers is to mentor them in their own growth. Todd Nielsen’s Three Ways to Polish a Diamond Employee In The Rough is a godd place to start being accountable to those that follow you.