It was the second week of January 2020. I had just set a health goal that would stretch me. With palpable excitement, I couldn’t wait to hit the road!
However, my bicycle had other ideas. I took it in to the shop for the mechanic to fix my off-balance rear wheel. A couple days later, it was ready for me to pick up.
But my mech had a disclaimer: “When you come, there is something I want to show you.”
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Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. That evidence part is what my logical mind struggles with every single day.
I receive a call from a new client. We have been working on part of his company’s profile. When I see his caller ID, my mind goes like: “Oh shoot! Did I overlook something?” Immediately, I go into crisis mode. My heart races and I am reduced to shallow breaths.
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A few weeks ago, I broke my bicycle’s gear shifters half-way into an 88 kilometer ride. Needless to say, the ride home wasn’t a walk in the park. By the time I got home, my right arm was tingling from fatigue.
In the weeks that followed, my excuse to go riding was that my gears were broken. In all honesty, that was just a cop-out. Then, in a moment of deep introspection, I realized I was sinking fast! The habit that has become my aid to reflect, meditate and pray was broken. It is like a very dark shroud fell over me.
The last couple years haven’t been easy on my family. It’s been day after day of hustling to build our business. At first, it felt like I was going to lose my mind… Literally!
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Regret is a disappointment that stifles my progress. It is that I-should-have feeling that makes me feel like a caged animal. I can see the freedom I should be enjoying.
But all I have is my wish gone up in smoke. As I write this article, I am working hard to get out of a crazy cycle. The first regret is compromising my focus on of consistent content development for my readers. Then, there is a regret of thinking I can do everything by myself while dropping the ball in some critical areas. My third regret is not seeking help earlier than I thought I needed it.
Then I remembered of an event that won over regret. I had always wished to have birds visit our backyard. Their beautiful chirping is soothing and the rhythm of their wings energizing. It gives me a sense of peace and connection with nature. But for about five years, that was all it was. A wish.
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Kenneth Blanchard, an author and management expert, says this: “The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority.”
Reading is a culture that is developed consciously. Growing up, I could only lay claim to the schoolbooks I had. Food inspired my love for reading.
I borrowed a classmate’s copy of The Famous Five by Enid Blyton. One thing stood out from the book. As Georgina (George), her three cousins and their dog went out camping, they fried bacon and eggs for breakfast. Afternoon tea was accompanied with cake!
In my mind! I could taste the delicious bacon. Having grown up with just the basics and the occasional treats once in a blue moon, this book brought to life possibilities beyond my current status then. When my mum served pumpkin and black tea, out came the Famous Five.
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The morning was chilly and cloudy as my seven-year old son and I set out on an adventure. We were off to a father-son event out in the forest. And for me, it was time to take my leadership and mentoring a notch higher.
At the staging area, there were trampolines, slides, obstacle races, and great music. But our attraction was to ride our mountain bikes into the forest. My son had made it very clear that it had to be done.
I had been to this particular forest many times before. We had walked the trails with family and friends. In my mind, our bike ride was going to be a walk in the park. And the first leg was exactly that.
We accompanied our under-12’s on a four-kilometer ride. When we got back to the staging area, I was in for a big surprise. The adults were to race on a real mountain bike trail!
In our briefing, we were warned to ride carefully. There were twists, turns, and some rough sections. This wasn’t what I had signed up for! I just wanted to hang out with my son for some easy Saturday morning fun.
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Most people I have met have a deep-seated desire to live a life of significance. It is a need to matter. We want to have a lasting impact that we are proud of. However, our busy lives have obscured our ability to keep our visions in focus.
To lead with authenticity, we must develop the ability to think about or plan the future with imagination and wisdom. In other words, you must have a vision. Michael Hyatt says this of vision: “If you have a vision, you will eventually attract the right strategy. If you don’t have a clear vision, no strategy will save you.”
Vision is the most identifiable quality of a leader according to Brian Tracy’s ‘7 Qualities of Visionary Leadership’. Having a solid vision is so powerful and is the key ingredient of your success. A vision is like a lighthouse. It guides you home to your true potential.
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The year I turned seven, my father, a government employee, was relocated to another town.
Myself, my mother and my siblings couldn’t move with him and stayed back home. I thought it was because we were already settled into our own simple house and in local schools. As kids, we weren’t prepared for this major upheaval in our family. My hero had been torn away from me.
The next thirty years were spent hating, regretting; living in fear instead of to my full potential. I couldn’t stand the thought of ending up the disappointment I perceived my father to be. But that was exactly where I saw myself heading.
I had dreams, aspirations and a bubbling heart, but somewhere along the way it had become a struggle to even think of waking up each day, let alone getting out of bed.
For many years, I harbored a longing to serve people in a significant way, yet I was doing nothing to fulfill that desire. I was too paralyzed by my fear of inadequacy.
Then I chose forgiveness… [TweetMe]
Read the full article on The Gift of Writing.
Question: Are you struggling to find your full potential as a leader, father or mother? I hope my story will inspire you to take the critical steps to be the leader you were meant to be. Down But Not Out is available at your favorite online bookstore, or a bookshop near you.photo credit: symphony of love via photopin cc
“The thinks you can think” by Dr. Seuss was running through my mind when I woke up this morning. It is Father’s Day, but what does that mean? I remember some thought I had nearly nine years ago. “Any man can father, but not all can be a father.” My worry was if I was good enough to hold the title of Daddy.
Looking back, and three children later, I can confidently say that my fears might have been overinflated and out-of-focus. The becoming was not just biological or the passage of time. It was something that I had to fetch from deep within my soul. That becoming involved sacrifice, courage and big dreams.
I have to admit that being a father has entrenched some deep passion for authentic leadership. It means looking beyond myself at all times and in every action I take. Even when I take time to unwind and rebuild, I frequently ask myself how that can help me to recharge in order to serve better and bigger.
Let me share with you three precious leadership qualities fatherhood has taught me. These are patience, presence, and practice.
Patience, according to Wikipedia, is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without acting on annoyance/anger in a negative way; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. Patience is the level of endurance one can take before negativity. [TweetMe]
For as long as they could belt out a shout as toddlers, all our children call out to me at night. For some of you night owls, this may be a walk in the park. But I am like a chicken, when the sun rises I wake up and when it sets, my shut-eye begins. So waking up three times in the middle of the night is a BIG deal for me. At first, I was uptight about it. But I began to treasure the fact that I was on the front seat of our children’s growth.
As I developed my character trait of being steadfast, it began to affect my relationships and leadership. My ‘short-fuse’ grew a little longer with time. I was becoming more appreciative of other people and also value their contributions more.
Presence is the state or fact of existing, occurring, or being present. I especially loved a meaning from the 1570s meaning carriage, demeanor, aspect and that of divine, spiritual or incorporeal being felt as present from 1660s. Although I had made a choice of being present for my family, I did not fully appreciate the work I’d have to put into it.
It meant coming up with memories for my family. I craved for anecdotes that one day we could all look back to with nostalgia. One night, we had such a heavy downpour that our backyard was left under four inches of water. Looking at the flotilla of garden equipment and toys floating on the water, it was a little depressing.
Then a light went off in my mind. Why not don our rubber boots or Crocs and play some soccer? When I got home from work that evening, that’s exactly what we did. Our older children have never forgotten that day. They talk about it with pride and knowledge of who they are and where they belong.
As a leader, not only do you have to be present. Your presence has to matter, you will have to get your hands dirty many times over. It is uncomfortable, but those you lead will remember it forever. [TweetMe]
Practice is the repeated performance or systematic exercise for the purpose of acquiring skill or proficiency. After learning patience and being present, the most difficult for me has been to keep on practicing to grow my leadership.
The pain and strain of getting into a new space of learning has left me exhausted on many occasions. However, I need to have courage to pick myself up and practice what I have learned over time. Without this, my knowledge, skill and aptitude will only but fade away. [TweetMe]
I was challenged to get out of my comfort zone two years ago. Being a father to our children was (and still is) working out pretty well. It has been comforting to know that I am great father (the votes are in from all our three children).
My challenge came in a young man who had just lost his dad to a road accident. He was hurting bad, worried for himself, his mother and siblings. He forced me to open up my heart and practice what I preached in my own home. Today, I received this email from him. I have to admit that I couldn’t help but tear up as I read it. For me, it’s one Father’s Day gift that is difficult to match.
“Id just like to let u know that you have been the closest thing to a father since Dad’s departure from this earth and in that im greatful. Even though im quiet sometimes i always know in my heart that i can confide in you and seek your council when needed. Thank you. Happy fathers day Mr.Kimunya and God bless you.” [sic]
On a recent trip, I couldn’t help but notice a well-dressed elderly lady in a wheelchair. She was sipping at what I assume was a delicious coffee at Muggs & Bean, just outside the boarding gates at Cape Town International Airport in South Africa.
I gathered she must be Canadian as her bag had a tag with the red maple leaf found on the Canadian flag. I did not think much of her until well into our flight. Incidentally, the lady and her husband sat across the isle to my left.
That is after I noticed that she was urgently pecking away at an iPad. It was the bold, red, fontsize-24 Arial typeface that grabbed my attention.
“Handling the wheelchair is becoming a challenge. The pain in the shoulders and fingers is getting worse. Need constant help to get around,” she typed out and continued, “Should check out hospice [she even typed out its name]… Prepare for death.”
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