Why would anyone in their right mind hurl themselves off a 17th Floor window?
His career path seemed promising, at least for those of us on the outside. His employer is a brand of global repute. I wonder what flashed through his mind as he hurtled to his death on a concrete ledge. Were there any regrets? A witness to this tragedy talked about hearing the man scream on his way down.
I can’t seem to shake this event off my mind. And as I think about it, a very scary scenario comes to play. What if this man is a representation of many of us? An example of me? What if I am just a trigger-pull away from similar catastrophe?
According to mentalhealth.gov, “Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices.”
In a world that is moving faster and faster, mental health is seldom a priority subject for most of us. We try to squeeze in just one more activity into an already over-crowded day. We sacrifice our #MentalHealth – plus physical and spiritual health – convincing ourselves that we will slow down when the conditions are right.
“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” Lou Holtz
A consistent cloud of overwhelm seems to have enveloped me in the recent past. I have worked hard to build my expertise and skills. My head is barely above the water and a sinking feeling is a constant companion. Two questions snap at my heels:
- How to get my services to market?
- What makes me think that my service-offering is better?
The mental tug-o’-war has been long, tough and draining. Lou Holtz’ thoughts above clarified my current reality and gave me perspective. I clearly remember a season of my childhood when some individuals drilled it in my young mind that I would not amount to anyone significant in life. This became my new reality, firmly ingrained in my subconscious mind.
Whenever I experience a stressful event, it triggers a psychological feeling of inadequacy or insignificance. My natural response it to become argumentative and unapproachable. These two barriers give me a false sense of safety.
This is a serious wake-up call for all of us. As I thought of my situation, I outlined three steps to help me deal with my #MentalHealth.
1. Know the early signs
For me, I know things are not well when deep lethargy sets in. I don’t feel like writing or doing any creative work. My conversations become ‘choppy’ peppered with one-worded responses. The levels of frustration and anger significantly rise.
In addition, my search for motivational videos spikes significantly. I want to ‘relax’ and my desire for food, especially snacks, increases. When this happens, I am unproductive and this just leads to more frustration.
2. Identify your triggers
I have three main triggers. The most dominant trigger is a consistent fear of my inability to provide for my family. That, by far, exceeds any other fear. The mere fact that I will let down my wife and children is unfathomable.
The second trigger is a gradual creep of self-pity. Physically, mentally and emotionally I feel inadequate and happy just to live on the survival side of life. This is also the time I don’t want to be around people. And did I mention that I am an extrovert?
At the tail-end, I experience very poor quality sleep. It is accompanied by a back pain in a very specific area along my shoulder-blade.
3. Deal with it!
Now that I appreciate my reality, I am talking to people who can hold me to account. I need to slow down and smell the coffee.
One of my current stressors is for my business to gain traction. I am taking a bold step to actively partner with other professionals and a business coach to grow our business. In the next couple of months, there must be marked improvement in how I ran this business.
Finally, I must stay physically fit. Even when I am at my lowest emotionally or psychologically, I find cycling re-energizes me. A kind of peace engulfs me. I feel more creative. I commit to keep hitting the road and reeling in the miles.
“Positive mental health allows people to realize their full potential, cope with the stresses of life, work productively and make meaningful contributions to their communities.” mentalhealth.gov
We all need to have an open discussion about #MentalHealth. It is not a preserve of only a few who ‘have lost it’ or on medication. It can happen to you any time. The question is, will you be prepared when it strikes?
Q: How can we work together to raise the quality of our #MentalHealth? You can leave a comment by clicking here.
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