Solitude has a way of illuminating our paths. As we slow down, deep truths seem to ‘magically’ emerge like from a hazy mist.
Slowing down in our present world sounds like an oxymoron. To find the time to connect with friends and family is like a far-fetched theory. My calendar ends up looking like a city map in a traffic grid lock. There is no breathing space, nowhere to escape.
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It was the second week of January 2020. I had just set a health goal that would stretch me. With palpable excitement, I couldn’t wait to hit the road!
However, my bicycle had other ideas. I took it in to the shop for the mechanic to fix my off-balance rear wheel. A couple days later, it was ready for me to pick up.
But my mech had a disclaimer: “When you come, there is something I want to show you.”
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If each ‘New Year’ resolution we made was worth a dollar, the world would be free of poverty! Oh what a happy day that would be.
I stopped making resolutions decades ago. Those that I made just wouldn’t stick. Within weeks, if not days, I would go back to my comfort zone. And I wasn’t alone. Many of my friends were in a similar dilemma. That critical weight-loss program collapses in February. A reading habit shuts its pages with the first book of the year. The list goes on.
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Out on my regular cycling route, I had just come out of a sweet, fast descent feeling pumped!
My finger went for the gear shift in anticipation of the fast approaching climb. “Click!” Nothing! “Click, click!”Another two clicks just confirmed that I was in trouble. No matter how many times I pushed the lever, my gears weren’t changing. My rear gear cable had broken. In a flash, I was reduced from a 21-gear option to only 3 gears. And did I mention that I was only 20km into my 45km ride?
When an organization is in deep trouble, the temptation to go straight for its leadership, operations, or human resource. The organization’s culture hardly gets any consideration at this moment.
This approach portends that someone or some people isn’t getting their work done. That somewhere, a ball must have been dropped. Most often than not, a change management process is instituted that results in staff retrenchment.
However, I believe that the trouble is just the tip of the iceberg. The larger culprit lurks below the surface. Like a shark, it swims unnoticed until it strikes. The result is a narrow escape or a bloody mess.
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“I just can’t seem to reach my desired goal. And it is sucking the life out of me!” Has this been you in the recent past? Well, a coach is just who you need to help you out of the jam.
It makes sense to have someone else to help us navigate through difficult experiences or events. How many time do we resist any support, instead wasting time and other resources trying to solve it our way? I am not saying that we shouldn’t try, but we can go further with the right support system working for us.
For a number of months, I struggled with what I thought was an anger management problem. I was routinely on edge, snappy and confrontational. The frustration of feeling stuck and lost at what to do next was unbearable.
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Most of us would acknowledge the value of asking questions as part of a trustworthy and productive conversation, but asking open, honest questions is an art.
It requires the listener to set aside preconceptions and instead tap into a deep and generous care for the other person. In fact, the primary characteristic of a well-crafted open, honest question is that you couldn’t possibly predict the answer. You ask because you genuinely want to know and because you are trying to engage others in order to gain understanding and demonstrate real listening.
An open question leads us to what Einstein referred to as a “holy curiosity.”—Dawna Markova
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Growing up, my family knew more lean times than days of plenty. Sometimes there would be so little to go around that I would go without lunch at school. Now, let me clarify that there are people who have been in more dire situations than I was.
But back then I would watch my classmates munching away at hot dogs, sandwiches and cake while I consumed copious amounts of air-burgers. This was tough to deal with, both mentally and emotionally.
I did not want to bother my poor mother. She cared (and still cares) very much about all her children. Voicing my thoughts about the food would only spike her blood pressure off the chart. So instead of bothering her, I chose a very interesting method to block out the torment I was going through: books became my solace.
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Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. That evidence part is what my logical mind struggles with every single day.
I receive a call from a new client. We have been working on part of his company’s profile. When I see his caller ID, my mind goes like: “Oh shoot! Did I overlook something?” Immediately, I go into crisis mode. My heart races and I am reduced to shallow breaths.
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A few weeks ago, I broke my bicycle’s gear shifters half-way into an 88 kilometer ride. Needless to say, the ride home wasn’t a walk in the park. By the time I got home, my right arm was tingling from fatigue.
In the weeks that followed, my excuse to go riding was that my gears were broken. In all honesty, that was just a cop-out. Then, in a moment of deep introspection, I realized I was sinking fast! The habit that has become my aid to reflect, meditate and pray was broken. It is like a very dark shroud fell over me.
The last couple years haven’t been easy on my family. It’s been day after day of hustling to build our business. At first, it felt like I was going to lose my mind… Literally!
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