Eight years ago, I left my well-paying job. It was out of necessity rather than choice. I was stressed, unhappy and physically unwell.
It was a nightmare to serve under my boss. At the time, I just thought he was a nasty guy. But now I know the actual term that describes his character and behavior. He was a narcissist; a person who thinks very highly of self, needing admiration, believing others are inferior and lacking empathy for others.
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If only I had known! It is difficult to admit it. But this fleeting thought crosses my mind every so often.
Getting an idea off the ground is a daunting task. Especially a business idea. Starting something as you emerge from the dark is even harder. This is the summary of my last five years. All I had was an urge to help transform lives and a will to make it work. No money, no connections and ignorant of the market (there, I said it).
Only now is my hike through the wilderness beginning to make sense. Many initiatives have failed. But they have helped to refine my focus on what matters most. Where I sought perfection before stepping out, I now start scrappy with a small test-group to probe my hypothesis. Depending on the results, I shelve the idea or progress it to the next level. In both instances, I look out for lessons and quickly learn from them.
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Today, many of us are anxious, worried and overwhelmed by all that is happening around us. The one thing we need more than anything else is empathy.
Unfortunately, this dose of humanity is increasingly deficient in leadership. From my observation of tens of people, they feel isolated from their leaders. This gap widens more in crisis or periods of uncertainty. And it does not discriminate between personal or professional realms of their lives.
When crisis strikes, the culture of a firm matters more and becomes more visible. Granted, there is a sprinkling of hope here and there. Crisis exposes the underlying gluttonous pursuit of more power and control over others. It hinges on greed and poor self-esteem. The true character of those in the higher echelons of an organization begins to show.
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It was the second week of January 2020. I had just set a health goal that would stretch me. With palpable excitement, I couldn’t wait to hit the road!
However, my bicycle had other ideas. I took it in to the shop for the mechanic to fix my off-balance rear wheel. A couple days later, it was ready for me to pick up.
But my mech had a disclaimer: “When you come, there is something I want to show you.”
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We learn best from our mistakes and failures. That is only if we take time to acknowledge, assess and move forward from them.
Over the last 12 months, my light waned on many things. I struggled to write. I hated my life. I felt under immense pressure every way I turned. Business wasn’t doing great. The resulting stress was affecting the relationship with my wife, children and friends.
Every day felt like I was a living fraud. And this was killing me! Where did I go wrong? When did I lose the plot? It took a lot of courage to reflect on where my train got off the tracks. The answer was looking me at the face all this time. It had been chipping away at the back of my mind.
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“I just can’t seem to reach my desired goal. And it is sucking the life out of me!” Has this been you in the recent past? Well, a coach is just who you need to help you out of the jam.
It makes sense to have someone else to help us navigate through difficult experiences or events. How many time do we resist any support, instead wasting time and other resources trying to solve it our way? I am not saying that we shouldn’t try, but we can go further with the right support system working for us.
For a number of months, I struggled with what I thought was an anger management problem. I was routinely on edge, snappy and confrontational. The frustration of feeling stuck and lost at what to do next was unbearable.
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