It was the second week of January 2020. I had just set a health goal that would stretch me. With palpable excitement, I couldn’t wait to hit the road!
However, my bicycle had other ideas. I took it in to the shop for the mechanic to fix my off-balance rear wheel. A couple days later, it was ready for me to pick up.
But my mech had a disclaimer: “When you come, there is something I want to show you.”
On arrival at the bike shop, he said: “Have a close look here,” pointing to the down tube that connects the head tube to the bottom bracket. “See the crack?”
That was the last thing I wanted to see. My riding plans for the weekend were unceremoniously quashed. Riding the bike in that state was a classic recipe for a painful crash. He could weld the crack, but that is a short-term fix. Indeed, a month after the fix, the frame cracked through.
Long story short, I am officially ‘bikeless’. The fact that will have to buy another bicycle just made me feel worse! Note that this wasn’t a budget item for me any time soon.
As I thought more about the cracked frame, I could not help but draw a close parallel to my ‘Soul Group’. This band of brothers remind me of my bike mech. My brothers help me to identify ‘cracks’ in my life. I have managed to change course and avoid painful life ‘crashes’. Not only that, my Soul Group supports me through the work I need to mend my ‘cracks’, both mental and spiritual.
Do not rent out your brain to stress and fear, they do not pay.” ― Rajesh Walecha
During stressful times, there is a high likelihood that our brain defaults to ‘freeze’ mode. In this state, we may feel helpless, fearful and anxious. Functions such as awareness, decision-making and concentration are lost to us. We may become irrational; driven by what flies by in the moment.
This is exactly how I feel at present. The slow, choking grip precipitated by the COVID-19 pandemic is everywhere. I can’t meet my clients. Ongoing coaching and training negotiations have ground to a halt. And the timing of my bike’s breaking down isn’t particularly consoling. It has been one channel to relieve myself of stress. As an extraverted human, the walls of our home feel like they are closing in on me.
Yet, it is in such times that we, humans, most yearn to connect with other humans. As Susan C. Young says, “Connecting with others gives us a sense of inclusion, connection, interaction, safety, and community. Your vibe attracts your tribe, so if you want to attract positive and healthy relationships, be one! Staying connected and getting reconnected feeds the flow of goodness which empowers our humanity.”
As a family, we have had the time to think deeply of what it means to have meaningful relationships. Fears and anxieties have been tackled head-on. Where we valued community, this season has heightened our need to connect even more with those around us.
The knowledge that my Soul Group brothers are there for me gives me hope. Meeting with them [even virtually] is like experiencing a group coaching session. They provide me a safe space to go deep and identify any obstacles I face, misconceptions I have or insights I have missed. I can focus on my shortcomings and challenges while they provide me the clarity to design my actions.
Looking ahead, we shall prevail. We just need to hang on tight, support each other and do what is right even though it may be uncomfortable or inconveniencing.
When you feel stressed, reach out for help. Don’t walk alone. You have support waiting for you to do the work, stay accountable and grow stronger! Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, but rather a display of your strength.
Q: What ‘cracks’ are you struggling with in your life and work? How can I help you? You can leave a comment by clicking here.
Beautiful piece….
Thank you Kenneth!