So, Why Are You Alive Today?

Why we need to take a deep-dive to our soul

It was 5 AM. I stretched my body to wakefulness. It was going to be just another day. In a flash, my mind was invaded by a troubling question, “So, why are you alive today?”

So, Why Are You Alive Today?

Like a shot out of a canon, I was out of bed like a cat on fire. By the time I got downstairs, heart pounding as if to eject itself out of my rib-cage! I had a thin, cold bead of sweat on my brow.

Grief has a way of gripping at the core of a human being. The loss of a family member can have far-reaching consequences. For me, the loss of my dad has increased my sensitivity towards being alive and life in general.

When I finally planted my body on the couch, I began to critically process the question again, “So, why are you alive today?” The answer seemed simple as it was another question… “What will you do with your life today?”

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Learn Or Crash? Lessons In Grief

When your world suddenly caves in...

This post is a special tribute to my dear Dad. He fought through pain and remained strong to the end. His courage will not be in vain.

You are cruising along a beautiful, tree-lined boulevard. Without warning, you suddenly fall off a precipice that has appeared from thin air!

It is not the length of life

This is how I felt on the morning of August 2nd, 2015. It was sudden. The finality of the experience tore at every fiber of my being. My Dad was no more… he had made his final bow. The cancer that had afflicted his tongue finally took its toll on his life.

We were just glowing in the joy of reconnection. I had struggled for decades to get to this point. Yet it was only to be for a short six weeks. But what treasured memories that brief window provided.

We had our fair share of ups and downs. However, if I were to forget everything else Dad left with me, these three lessons will forever remain inscribed on my heart.

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The Challenge Of Leadership

The 3 major roadblocks I face everyday

On the 21st of June 2015, one father had committed to meet with another father. It was Fathers’ Day. These two fathers had not met or talked over a stretch of 10 years!

The Challenge Of Leadership

Not surprisingly, the meeting was emotional. One father got to meet his grandchildren for the first time. One, two, then three… the 10, 8 and 6-year old kids hugged their grandfather for the very first time. And then they introduced themselves to him.

The grandfather was in tears, the other father was confused. Lunch was followed by tea. Then there were the photos. The fathers stood side by side, their chests thrust out forward in silent pride.

There was a sense of closure. This closure that was brought about by a choice to take leadership of a seriously broken relationship.

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Why Your Worst Doesn’t Define You

In pursuit of the third leg to celebrate Fatherhood...

It cost Socrates his life when he said, “An unexamined life is not worth living.” But it still got me thinking about a niggling issue I had to deal with.

Bruise not Tatoo

I lost my sleep at 3:00 AM. Actually, this whole week has been restless and sleepless. My attempt at lulling myself back to sleep frustrates me the more. I get out of bed, brew a pot of coffee, and try to write. Nothing happens!

It feels like my thoughts are on remote control. For an hour, I struggle to focus. Finally, out of desperation, I turn to watch a TED Talk. And it hits me like a run-away train! In it, I finally found a missing piece in my puzzle of life.

It occurred to me that Father’s Day has been heavy on my mind. Actually, I have sub-consciously thought of this day every year for the last 20 years. But I have locked it deep in my mind in a bid to forget it.

All along, three questions have plagued me: How does it feel to have a father? What does it mean to have a father… Really? How do I define father?

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My ‘Big-5’ Vision Killers

We all have music to play, a song to sing, or a play to star in. You want to be remarkable. Maybe you dream of the day you will become a guru or respected authority in your field. Then the doubt strikes. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I reach my aspirations? And the questions pile on thick and fast!

You are not alone. Every day, I struggle with moments of self-doubt. Wondering if my dreams are valid in the first place. And it stems from my past. In ‘You Have Permission To Visualize’, I mentioned that you don’t need permission from anyone to decide what your vision is.

However, that same key can leave you paralyzed. This is because casting your vision carries with it a huge responsibility. It requires you to respond to challenging questions in regard to the planning for and execution of that vision. Hard work looms. And you can beat up yourself because of your doubt, fears and sometimes, overconfidence.

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Do You Have A Hero?

Today I begin a short thought series (#LBC_Think) that will run every Monday. Think of this as your boost for the week ahead!

Twentieth of October is Heroes’ Day’ in Kenya. It is a fitting day to begin this new series. Also referred to as Mashujaa Day, it is a celebration to collectively honor all those who contributed towards the struggle for Kenya’s independence.

Many other nations have there own Heroes’ Day. In Sri Lanka, 28th November is the day they remember the 1819 Kandyan rebellion against the British invasion. In 2014, it will be the 196th commemoration! The United Kingdom will on 21st October mark her 3rd National Heroes Day.

Whether we like it or not, we all have personal heroes who have influenced us in one way or another. They have helped to shape our thinking, actions and behavior. You will be amazed how much impact they have on your life, career or business.

My challenge today is: Think of four people who are your personal heroes. Over the next four weeks, pick one of your heroes and write down how they have influenced your life. My four heroes are my dear mother, Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela and Joseph Okema.

If you haven’t thought of this, I encourage you to take about fifteen minutes and consciously identify some of your lifetime heroes.

Who are your four heroes? Click here and in one or two sentences, share how they inspire you in the comments below. 

photo credit: Alex Jilitsky via photopin cc

The ‘Operating Theatre’ Of A Business

1459839_686750981399400_7363868686921980698_nThis guest post was written by Mr. Strive Masiyiwathe Executive Chairman and Founder of the Econet Wireless Group. It was originally published on his Facebook Page. I am honored to have the privilege to share your message forward Mr. Masiyiwa…

A friend of mine, who is a very good surgeon came to see me one day. As we chatted away, he lamented that as a prominent citizen, he felt unappreciated.

This was because no one had ever asked him to sit on the board of a major company or even a not-for-profit foundation. It was clear that he hoped that I would either appoint him to a board, or recommend him to one.

“Let’s do a trade,” I suggested, after a pause. “You see, when I was young, I could not make up my mind whether to study engineering, or to do medicine. Even today, I sometimes wish I had become a doctor… If you arrange for me to come to the operating theater, and to help you do a small operation, I will arrange for you, to sit on a board.”

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Leaders, Are You Creating Gangs in Your Org?

My original guest blog post was published on  Todd Nielsen’s 3rd International Leadership Blogathon. What an awesome opportunity this was to serve…

 

It was just after eight in the morning. I had been on an overnight flight across three time zones. My mind was fuzzy with fatigue and eyes drowsily droopy. But shut they would not.

I grabbed my bags and headed for the train station. A few minutes after rolling out of the station, my sight was assaulted by vivid color. For the next mile, the earth-retaining walls and the back walls of buildings next to the railway tracks were covered with graffiti. And I wondered, if graffiti was this elaborate here, why was there none in the airport arrival lounge?

Read on…

It’s the People, People!

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A guest post I wrote for the New to HR Blog… It never ceases to amaze me when I hear many c-suite executives talk about their talent. “It’s all about the people,” they may quip. “You have to get the most talented, motivated employees possible.” But the response I hear from many of these ‘valued’ employees is that all they miss is an asset tag pegged on them. The constant feedback is that an institutions physical assets are better tracked than its human capital.

I posed to ask myself why this may be the case. It would suffice to say that it boils down to one word; Engagement. There is a massive disconnect between the company executives and the ‘rest of us’.

“Only 13% of employees worldwide are engaged at work, according to Gallup’s new 142-country study on the State of the Global Workplace.” [TweetMe]

A whooping 63% of employees are disengaged at work… meaning they lack motivation and are less likely to invest discretionary effort in organizational goals or outcomes. And 24% are ‘actively disengaged’, indicating they are unhappy and unproductive at work and liable to spread negativity to coworkers. In rough numbers, this translates into 900 million not engaged and 340 million actively disengaged workers around the globe.”

Now, some may be surprised by these statistics. Others will dismissively indicate they do not apply to them. Yet, if they were adequately alert, they may discover that a good portion of the companies internet broadband is consumed by job searches initiated by the very employees they claim are not part of the statistics!

“Employee engagement is the emotional commitment the employee has to the organization and its goals,” says Kevin Kruse. [TweetMe]

Three critical gears, I believe, drive the engine of engagement. These are Communication, Growth and Trust.

Read the full article on New To HR

 photo credit: Pink Sherbet Photography via photopin cc

Bravery verses Bravado

medium_5852285035How many times have you picked up a book that kicked you in the gut from the very first page? “Only one man out of ten will finish strong,” notes Steve Farrar in Finishing Strong: Going the Distance for Your Family. As I read, questions began to buzz through my mind like bluebottle flies to a carcass. To be honest with you, I panicked.

As these questions hovered over me like hyenas waiting for me to flail and pounce on me, two words slowly crept into my mind. These were Bravery and Bravado. A day later, my wife comes along and throws in a spanner into my already crazy situation. “You don’t take enough time-out between events,” she started. I knew exactly what she meant. My attempt to wiggle out of the situation was a pathetic and wimpy reply.

Suddenly, I felt like a bolt of lightening coursed through my body. Steve’s statistic came rushing in like an express train ‘whooshing’ past a small station. Was I being brave or was I displaying the classic symptoms of bravado?

Bravado can only be found on the outside. It is what ‘positional leaders’ are made of. Their influence is guided by what they have; high position, money, connections, godfathers, etc. People follow them because they have to and that followership is driven by fear.

“Fear is the sand in the machinery of life.” ~E. Stanley Jones

Bravery, on the other hand, springs from the heart. Authentic leaders are brave as their strength comes from within them [TweetMe]. They know who they are, value their soul and lead by character. People follow an authentic leader because they want to.

“Things will be different because you have chosen to be intentional.” ~Scott Dinomore

And bravery leads me to some three key lessons I learnt yesterday from Finishing Strong: Going the Distance for Your Family. Rare, Exceptional and Teachable.

It is the rare man who finishes strong [TweetMe]. Wow! I immediately thought of how beautiful diamonds are. But did you know that for a diamond to be formed it has to undergo very high temperatures and pressures deep in the earth’s crust. A rare man is one who is ready to withstand tremendous peer-pressure, weather storms of life and grow deep in not only knowing themselves, but also serving from the heart.

It is the exceptional man who finishes strong[TweetMe]. To be exceptional, I have to live my calling. A.J. and Melissa Leon said this, “A good life is not living the life everyone else intended for you. It is being deliberate in the way you live your life.” How true this is. It is only those who are brave enough to face life head-on that are exceptional.

It is the teachable man who finishes strong [TweetMe]. There is no choice, if I don’t learn, I will eventually wither off and die. As I listened to my wife’s wise counsel, it downed on me that I should have more deliberate, planned breaks. “It is important to be aware of your life, aware of everything in it, and what’s important,” says Wokie Nwabueze.

Will you finish strong? Take a ‘time-out’ in thought and share your comments below.

 photo credit: StandUPP via photopin cc