Wing-it or Strategy? [Part 1/2]

Eight years ago, I left my well-paying job. It was out of necessity rather than choice. I was stressed, unhappy and physically unwell.

It was a nightmare to serve under my boss. At the time, I just thought he was a nasty guy. But now I know the actual term that describes his character and behavior. He was a narcissist; a person who thinks very highly of self, needing admiration, believing others are inferior and lacking empathy for others.

The uncertainty of what every day held was nerve-wracking. My self-confidence was a mess, my spirit crushed. I floated through every single day second-guessing myself like one without hope. Unfortunately, this experience followed me after I exited that job. For the next 3 years, I fought many mental battles as I worked to redeem my self-esteem.

Uncertainty led to decreases in my motivation, focus, agility, cooperative behavior, self-control, sense of purpose and meaning, and overall well-being. It hit me most [and still occasionally does] when the way forward was not clear. And anxiety emerges when the perceived way forward may contain a threat.

Aoife O’Donovan, an associate professor of psychiatry at the UCSF Weill Institute for Neurosciences, said that in most cases the human brain is quite good at managing anxiety. “We can think in the abstract about multiple scenarios and outcomes and prepare ourselves for them before they even happen. The problem is that imagining and predicting and preparing for bad outcomes can take a toll on us psychologically and biologically.”

Uncertain times force my mind to shift into one of three states: flee, freeze or fight. However, when faced with uncertainty, it is easier to chose the easier way out… flee or freeze. These do not take a lot of work or thinking. It is at this time that I shift into wing-it mode.

First recorded in 1885, winging it comes from the theatre industry. It is where actor studied their part of the play in the wings (those behind-the-scene areas on side of the stage). This was because the actor had been suddenly called on to replace another.

Other words that describe winging it are impulsive, unpremeditated, rush, impromptu or hurried.

When I look back, these are the winging-it  symptoms that plagued me through the dark times of uncertainty:

1. Depended on assumptions and ‘how I feel’
2. Took the path of least resistance
3. Performed for acceptance – playing to the audience

The result was a deep sense of insignificance. I felt unwanted and dead on the inside. I slowly withdrew from people and preferred staying indoors. I resorted to ‘research’ of hypothetical models on the next steps, steps I knew I was not going to take. That ‘research’ detoured into spending many hours on YouTube to ‘learn’ from others. It was the opium that made me feel good but slowly sank me into a dark abyss.

To make me feel like everything was okay, winging it became my crutch. Any work that remotely looked like it would put food on the table was game! Most of that work was time-consuming and pay was abysmal. To be honest, we are still paying for the the losses from the decisions I made from those times of going with the flow.

 Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream.” ~ Malcolm Muggeridge

This statement is a stark reminder of the dangers of winging it! Why? Because it means going along the easier path. It does not take a lot of thought or work. Most often than not, it is living at my lowest potential!

In my next post, I will share some steps that have helped me to grow my potential. And it is well framed by Charlie Munger’s words… “Knowing what you don’t know is more useful than being brilliant.”

With an honest look in the mirror, the last two-and-a-half years have faired way better. My coaching hours are up, my clients are making amazing progress with their goals and I am back to my curious self. I am committed to the next phase of growth!

Q: What will you commit to do differently in your business/work this year? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Photo by Edge2Edge Media on Unsplash