Where does my destiny lie? What will be the outcome of my life? These are key questions that I ask myself everyday. Sometimes, I have pure clarity of where I am heading. Other days, it seems like I am in a dense fog riding a mad bull.
When change happens, it comes at you in two forms; planned and unplanned. Note the careful usage of ‘when’. As I have experienced many times, change happens regardless of my state of mind, financial strength or social standing.
And this is because of he simple fact that life isn’t a steady state. It happens rapidly or slowly, can be messy or just right, and many times it leaves us confused or in a state of panic. This unsteady state causes disruption in our lives, status and experiences.
“A change in direction is caused by a change in circumstances,” Tim Ryder.
Unplanned change that is slow to unfold is perhaps the worst change that can happen to you and me. It’s the most dangerous because of the subtlety that accompanies it. Am I drifting away from my wife and kids? Do I hate what I do? It begins when we are dissatisfied with something but tolerate that state.
On the converse, I have found planned change to be the most fulfilling. This doesn’t mean that it is any easier. The journey is scary and sometimes riddled with self-pity. Temptations and bad habits that seem to satisfy may attack you relentlessly. However, when you are in charge of the change, it becomes easier to navigate through all these drifting icebergs. You are on the lookout!
There are three keys to personal change management that I have identified to navigate through the icebergs of life. They are an accountability partner, a mentor and a coach.
- My accountability partner is also my good friend. We share our plans and meet regularly. The meetings are very deliberate in their structure and content. We discuss our detailed weekly plans and spur each other on in-between our meetings. When things aren’t going to plan, we call each other out too. It is an opportunity to Identify what got us off course and ruthlessly deal with that issue.
- Mentors are a must if you want want any meaningful and significant growth in your life. This includes your fortifying your character, building your vision or magnifying your calling in life. My mentor helps me to aspire beyond my limitations. He has opened up to me to learn and understand what it took for him to get to where he is. “Let me show you how to be like me,” says your mentor.
- Coaches, as I have painfully come to admit, help me know the way and keep at it. They help you to become the best you can be. I have watched our kids’ tennis coach at work. She has a passion to guide them towards excellence. She patiently shows them the way and extracts out of them skills they are not aware of. And all this by demonstrating to them what can be done
I have just embarked on a journey of understanding what I need to do to serve you better with my blog, writing and speaking. It isn’t comfortable to cry for help. A credible coach will help you stop, think, change tact, and finally act in a more intelligent manner.
Please note that the three aren’t necessarily stand-alone or independent of each other. Sometimes, you may have on person as your mentor, coach and accountability partner at the same time. Or a combination of any two of them. It all depends on the season you are in life.
However, make sure you have all three at any one time and your growth will be unbelievable. If only I knew this twenty years ago… But this is the next best time, and I am loving it!
Question: What will it take to start or change your course? You can leave your comment by clicking here.
photo credit: INTTraveler via photopin cc
Hi Kimunya,
This is very well done and is the truth. We are
often in situations where we have an opportunity to take leadership, to
alleviate the suffering of someone else and to resolve conflict. We as a
society have a big problem with respect. The big want to be respected
without necessarily giving it or earning it for that matter. The small
want to be respected because they are from a disadvantaged position and
sometimes want to force respect out of people. This is the kind of
attitude I see when people are crossing the road and I am driving. They
take their time, look at you with a stern eye as they catwalk across
the road. Some even yell, ‘you have I car, I don’t…you must wait for
me to cross at my own time, in my own way.’ It is this selfish culture
that is getting us nowhere and in that case, nowhere really fast. This
blog is refreshing. Every day stories told from the perspective of a
true leader who puts others before self. You my brother are well on
your way to something so incredibly great, that it is and will be earth
shattering.
I am honored John! Thank you for sharing your perspective. It adds to the reality that leaders need to rise up to.